Bud vs. Blossom

I came across a letter on my computer tonight, that I wrote to ex before I moved here. It’s...

Tue, 14 May 2013 05:01:14 -0400

I came across a letter on my computer tonight, that I wrote to ex before I moved here. It’s full of strong, sensible statements from me regarding why I needed him to be honest about his intentions behind coming here. I also was reminded of all the utterly ridiculous bullshit I put up with from him. So much that was simply childish, backwards, nonsensical bullshit. I’m not proud that I dealt with it, but I learned from it, so there’s that. I get annoyed, too, when I remember that I frequently say to people that he isn’t a bad guy, just not the right guy for me. Maybe he’s not “bad,” but he’s certainly selfish and full of shit.

Daniel’s in the house with me now, still watching YouTube videos. I asked him to turn it down a bit, and his immediate reaction was to put on his headphones. I didn’t have to ask, and he wasn’t even a little bit pissy about it. I remember a handful of times when I would ask ex to put on headphones while I do homework so that I could hang out in the living room with him, but still get stuff done. His reaction was always childish, pouty and super put-out, like I was asking him to cut off his foot for me or something. What a dick. His reaction to nearly anything I asked him to do was shitty and mean. I’m a little disgusted with myself thinking back on that relationship. I try not to do it in detail too much, because I’m really, really not proud of myself.

Daniel, though…he makes me proud. I’m proud to be loved by him, I’m proud to be his friend, his lover, his roommate, his companion. His kindness genuinely makes me try to be a kinder person. He’s making me a better person. I hope I do the same for him. I think I do sometimes. I love him, so, so much.

And my homework’s still not done. I might have to take a little nap soon.

So much for not getting complicated. I have no feelings for XC beyond friendship, but I am willing...

Sat, 25 Aug 2012 00:06:18 -0400

So much for not getting complicated. I have no feelings for XC beyond friendship, but I am willing to keep going with the physical part because it’s fun. That, however, has completely fucked up the way I’m thinking of Chris. I’m currently noticing that because I’ve got a bit of the “under someone new to get over someone old” thing happening, I’m less self-conscious about being honest with the way I feel about him. So I asked if I could call him—there’s no number at which to do so—and simply said I wanted to hear his voice. That would’ve made me feel too vulnerable before XC. Now it just sort of feels like it’s time to lay everything on the table and see what happens. I want to talk to him. I want to tell him about it. But I HAVE to do it in person. I just have to hope that he doesn’t hear about it from anyone else (like XC) in the meantime. Which means I need to talk to her. I thought she wanted to hang out tonight but I haven’t heard from her. I’m not butthurt about it at all. I just worry about where her head’s at. We need to talk. I hope it happens fucking soon.

It’s time to try my hand at busking. And maybe get a roommate.

Mon, 21 May 2012 21:29:57 -0400

It’s time to try my hand at busking. And maybe get a roommate.

I’ve been in San Diego with some friends/classmates for the last five days. I’ve kept my...

Sun, 25 Mar 2012 14:14:41 -0400

I’ve been in San Diego with some friends/classmates for the last five days. I’ve kept my patience and wits about me surprisingly well so far. I think knowing that we’re almost home and the constant camaraderie is ending, though, has squashed my remaining patience. Friend N and her money concerns and her apparent need for us to hold hands wherever we go has finally gotten to me. I’m trying to not be a short bitch, but I need some alone time.

"Feminist theory can open your eyes or shut them tighter. If you are open to the idea that you have..."

Mon, 19 Mar 2012 03:21:04 -0400

“Feminist theory can open your eyes or shut them tighter. If you are open to the idea that you have lived your entire life on a social throne and everything you say and do is an example of the privilege that your dominant gender has, then you have the ability to start tearing down these social norms and make new ones. It’s not self-flagellation; it’s admitting that all throughout history, sexism has been used to oppress women. Men will continue to see feminist theory as a threat because by feminists showing time and time again that females are equal in every intellectual and most physical respects to males, men are incessantly having to make excuses for their behavior and prove to themselves and other men that they are indeed everything that the world has told them to be.”

- Jesse Lawson (via msandrogynous)

ruineshumaines: A grenade built like a piece of fine China...

Thu, 15 Mar 2012 17:38:26 -0400

ruineshumaines:

A grenade built like a piece of fine China really makes you think. UK-based artist Magnus Gjoen always seeks to challenge a viewer’s preconceived notions of what is the norm. The artist’s intentions are to represent beauty in otherwise destructive or unappealing objects. By combining decorative appeal and destruction, Gjoen creates parallels between the two, forcing the spectator to draw connections. He adds fragility to strength while incorporating religious motifs. His works are thought-provoking and actually mind-boggling once you learn that these aren’t actual sculptures. The experienced graphic designer creates each of these embellished items digitally.

If it weren’t for red wine stained lips, no one would know how much I drink.

Tue, 06 Mar 2012 21:43:01 -0500

If it weren’t for red wine stained lips, no one would know how much I drink.

Even though I know it’s burning cancer into my chest, I love the way sitting in the sun all...

Sat, 03 Mar 2012 21:35:06 -0500

Even though I know it’s burning cancer into my chest, I love the way sitting in the sun all afternoon makes my skin smell. Unshowered, but not unclean. Very human, kind of musky. Kind of sexy.

HAHAHAHA.

It must be nearing sex werewolf time.

Today, I don’t want contrived romance. I don’t want awkward, I-just-met-you-and-am-judging-you...

Sat, 03 Mar 2012 20:05:00 -0500

Today, I don’t want contrived romance. I don’t want awkward, I-just-met-you-and-am-judging-you interactions. I want warm, soft, comfortable and comforting. I want affection and cuddling and heavy petting and making out. I want no make-up, dirty feet and t-shirts. I want to fit in the crook of an arm, and feel safe there.

THIS is why is sucks to be single. THIS is what it’s like to be lonely.

croatoan: fuckshop: i want to have sex and i’m really sad that i’m not right...

Sat, 03 Mar 2012 19:42:59 -0500

croatoan:

fuckshop:

i want to have sex and i’m really sad that i’m not right now

hahahaha

Tambien.

BRAIN-GUTS.: jcatgrl: themaggiezine: flamingzebra: If you’re a “nice...

Sat, 03 Mar 2012 19:42:17 -0500

BRAIN-GUTS.: jcatgrl: themaggiezine: flamingzebra: If you’re a “nice...:

jcatgrl:

themaggiezine:

flamingzebra:

If you’re a “nice guy”…

thenerdgirlcometh:

xvxavier:

tegatime:

xvxavier:

If you’re a “nice guy” to a girl up until you realize she doesn’t want to date you, then go on about how she’s a cold shrew that friendzoned…

First, I got all pissed at people who don’t operate from a place of honesty. Then I remembered...

Sat, 03 Mar 2012 18:32:52 -0500

First, I got all pissed at people who don’t operate from a place of honesty. Then I remembered that I often have ulterior motives, too.

Ridin’ the Wambulance hard today. I hate everyone. Not really, obviously.

Wed, 29 Feb 2012 02:26:35 -0500

Ridin’ the Wambulance hard today. I hate everyone.

Not really, obviously.

Lead on, oh Kinky Turtle: baddominicana: thatmuchlove: 13 Year Old Jada Williams Persecuted by...

Wed, 29 Feb 2012 01:06:18 -0500

Lead on, oh Kinky Turtle: baddominicana: thatmuchlove: 13 Year Old Jada Williams Persecuted by...:

baddominicana:

thatmuchlove:

13 Year Old Jada Williams Persecuted by the Rochester City School District Over her essay on Frederick Douglass.

ai-yo:

jumpstart-therevolution:

theafrosistuh:

beautifulbrwn:

“On Saturday, February 18, 2012, the Frederick Douglass…

On four separate occasions, to four different people, I’ve found the opportunity to say,...

Mon, 27 Feb 2012 23:17:49 -0500

On four separate occasions, to four different people, I’ve found the opportunity to say, “pobrecito/a.”

I definitely spend way too goddamn much time on these dating sites. Fun, yes, but also terribly,...

Mon, 27 Feb 2012 21:36:09 -0500

I definitely spend way too goddamn much time on these dating sites. Fun, yes, but also terribly, terribly distracting. I suck at life.

CREEPIN'

Fri, 24 Feb 2012 02:26:16 -0500

http://sociologicalimagination.org/archives/7938

Fri, 24 Feb 2012 00:34:38 -0500

http://sociologicalimagination.org/archives/7938

sociolab: putyourdukesup: Hello friends - so as you may know,...

Fri, 24 Feb 2012 00:26:01 -0500

sociolab:

putyourdukesup:

Hello friends - so as you may know, our kitty Callie is in a very sad predicament right now. We took her to the emergency room last night and found out that her tiny kitty kidneys are in the process of failing. She was on the brink of the end last night and I think we made it just in time. Unfortunately, we spent every single dime we had on x-rays, IVs, blood tests, and keeping her over night so that they could flush her system since they think she might have gotten into something toxic. She needs to be in the hospital for 3 more days in order to recover but we’re just.. broke. We’re in dire straits - we move out of the state in a week and now we don’t know what we’re going to do. We’ve turned to everyone we can think of without any help and now we’re coming here as a last resort. Please help us save our kitty.

HOWEVER, it wouldn’t just be you donating to helping our sweet baby get out of the fucking hospital and back into our arms - you would be getting some SWEET things in return!

Here’s the deal - you donate, you get stuff! Here’s the run down:

$5 - $9 gets you a hand written letter from ME along with amazing hand drawn pictures of cats (callie in particular)

$10 - $30 gets you a LOVELY calm jar necklace!

$31 - $40 gets you all the above AND a psychedelic animal totem badge of your choosing!

$41 - $50 gets you all the above AND a crystal necklace!

$51 - $60 gets you all the above PLUS a magical pendulum reading!

$61 - $100 gets you all the above AND a crystal oracle reading (3 cards) question of your choice!

$100 - PLUS gets you an AMAZING Sea Beats care package with all the above as well as bath tea, color sticks, psychic pillow, secret mojo bag, tincture of your choice, zine about living a magical life, crystals, and MORE!!!!

(also - add your tumblr name upon check out so I know who y’all are!)

Signal boost!

OBVIOUSLY, I need to do this.

Wed, 22 Feb 2012 16:39:35 -0500

OBVIOUSLY, I need to do this.